The Punchline
by Harlecat
Summary: While Bruce was busy, the tunnels below Gotham were filled with chaos. And it didn't just involve his family- Superman, Poison Ivy, and Catwoman were also pulled in. This is a record of what happened, including the terrible tragedy that befell Batgirl.


_If I live through this, I'm going to get better at swimming,_ Dick vowed. The water was all around him, and he was holding on tightly to Damian and Jason. He kept his mouth shut at tight as he could, and then let out a scream when Jason vanished. The water surged into him instantly. He gagged and closed it. The water quickened, and to his horror, he saw that Damian was spinning away. _No!_

He broke the surface, spitting out water. He was awfully close to the roof of whatever tunnel he was in now.

_Focus, Dick._ He'd lost the group. He had no idea where he or anyone else was. And the way things looked, Alfred might just have betrayed the Family. He refused to believe it, but he couldn't let his personal relationships cloud his judgement.

_Focus, Dick._ He picked a direction and started swimming, coughing up water.

"J-Jase? Babs? Damia-_ack-_n? Br_u_ce? T-tim?"

There was a rumbling in the roof above him. He glanced up wearily. _Hurray, more water. I haven't seen enough yet._

But what broke through the dirt wasn't more water. Rather, a long, strong root, that left a gaping hole behind it. A head appeared.

"Hiya, handsome," Poison Ivy grinned. Selina stuck her head out as well.

"Look what the cat dragged in."

"Any chance of a lift?" Dick called. The two glanced at each other and smiled.

"Sure thing," Ivy shouted, and the root lowered itself. Dick grabbed on, and was pulled up into a small, dark cave.

"Nice of you to drop in." He collapsed onto the floor. "How'd you know where to find me?"

"Harley was all over the house," Selina shrugged. "Took each of you out of your rooms. Didn't think to check the guest room."

"You two were _both_ sleeping in the guest room?"

"Hey, slumber parties are-" Selina paused, and a distant shout was heard, somewhere across the tunnels.

Dick decided a subject change was in order. "Do you know where anyone else is?"

"You're the first we've seen."

Dick glanced over at Ivy. "Thanks for saving me."

"It wasn't about saving _you_, hon." Ivy rolled her eyes. "I'm just looking for Harley. The way I understand it, I was kidnapped, put under hypnosis, and my hair was ruined. Anyone who does that to a lady, friend or not, deserves some good ol' fashioned _revenge_."

Dick turned to Selina. "Do you know where Alfred is?"

"Nope."

"Any idea if Quinn took him?"

"I don't think so, but I can't be sure."

Dick sighed. "We need to call the police."

"On it." Selina nodded to Ivy, and grabbed onto the root. It rose out of their view.

"I guess we should keep looking for everyone else?"

Ivy shrugged, and the cave rumbled. She closed her eyes, and then opened them. "This way."

She pushed a root through the tunnel, and set out after it. Dick followed her. He wasn't sure how long they walked before Ivy sent the root down through the ground and pulled up Tim.

"This way," she said, and started walking again. Tim turned to Dick in confusion.

"Come on," he said, and they went after her. "Did you see-"

"Jason? No. Or Barbara."

"And Damian?"

"Lost him awhile back." Tim paused. "Dick, about Jason and Babs-"

Dick clenched his fists. "Not now."

"But-"

"No."

Ivy froze. "Here." She drove a root through the ground in front of her and leaned out. "Stay. She's mine."

Dick and Tim peered out, and saw Ivy drop onto the ground in front of the green-haired, white-skinned Harley Quinn. A thin, red line stretched underneath her chin. She was looking back over her shoulder and running, and collided with Ivy. The ground was covered in a thin layer of water.

She punched Harley, hard. She staggered backward, wiping her mouth. There was blood on her shoes, mixing with the shallow water.

"Pam-a-lamb!" she cried. "W_on_derful seeing you!"

"I know what you _did _to me, Harley!"

"Who's Harley?" Quinn ducked another hit, and leapt out of the way as a vine came surging out at. "I'm the _Joker_!"

"What did he do to you?" Ivy demanded. Harley pulled out a knife and slashed as another vine came at her. Ivy screamed in fury.

"Sweetie, no one _did _this to me. I make my _own_ choices."

"What happened, Harley?" Ivy shouted, sending another vine. Harley sliced it in half, and Ivy howled i n pain.

_"My name isn't Harley!"_

Ivy called more vines.

"Your flowers are cute, but they won't win a fight."

Ivy sprinted forward and slammed into Harley, kissing her.

"Oh," Tim said.

Ivy pushed Harley off of her and looked at her expectantly.

_"Ivy, Ivy, Ivy,"_ Harley said softly, and leaned toward Ivy, until her lips were by her ear. _"It doesn't work on me."_

Her arm twitched, a movement so small Dick barely saw it, and Ivy went completely still. Harley twisted her arm, and pulled it back, leaving a dark red hole behind. Ivy hissed. She'd been stabbed.

Harley pulled back her sleeve. "Oops! Gotta run! But tell the kids I say hi, and say hello to the plants in plant-heaven. Stay safe!"

She took off again.

Dick and Tim both dropped to the ground, and rushed over to Ivy.

"God _dammit_," she said, staring after Harley. "I'm going to kill her."

"Get her to safety," Dick instructed Tim. "I'll go after Quinn."

"But I want to-"

"Go after her," Ivy said, gritting her teeth. "I'll be fine. I'll go back up to the house and wait for the police. Make sure she goes through _hell_."

Tim nodded. "But how'll you get up?"

Ivy waved her hand, and a vine lifted her up.

"Ah," Tim said. "Superpowers."

Ivy nodded, and was carried upward.

"I'll go after Quinn," Dick said. "You go the opposite direction."

"Wh-"

"Because, it looked like she was running _from_ something. And it'd be nice to know what."

"Fine." Tim took off in the opposite direction. Dick ran after Quinn. He could hear her laughing.

And then it stopped.

Dick paused and listened. Without her laughter, he didn't know where to go.

There was more silence. He started to walk, slowly, in the direction he thought she might have gone.

And then the screaming began.

Dick broke into run.


End file.
